my input: it doesn't matter to the point you shouldn't even count it as anything like age
if you can use different maths depending how you look at it, maybe it's not worth the effort
But I think in general it'd be a bad idea to add ages, because otherwise someone could make 30 tulpas which merge after one year and then have the only confirmed 30 year old tulpa.
When Lily tried to tell her ex gf about tulpas she cut her off before explaining it really, claimed she already knew, and liked to absorb them for their power
I would agree that taking responsibility for things should be system wide. Out of curiosity though, are you dissociative when not in the front or some such? I often do not really have the option of letting them do something dumb without being able to step in and take control at any time.
Zen
I would agree that taking responsibility for things should be system wide. Out of curiosity though, are you dissociative when not in the front or some such? I often do not really have the option of letting them do something dumb without being able to step in and take control at any time.
generally i am able to step in but things have changed and a member has been able to force me out of control and take control himself, leaving me occupied with my emotions, not able to react fast enough. I dont disassociate, some times i am to sad/helping in the inner world and cant check what there writhing before they post it.
I'm not sure I can assist with such a thing, as comparitively extreme levels of control over not just myself by my tulpas seems to be part of my nature. Though just in terms of relationships if this thoughtform is breaching your trust perhaps reaching out to them and making them aware of how negatively this is impacting you would be of assistance? Otherwise if this is a straight up intrusive thoughtform I would say to dissipate, integrate or merge it with something not-mal-adaptive if it seems incapable of rationalizing the way it's behaving is unacceptable.
Ok, hold on. my dyslexic butt is having a stroke...
I have talked to him (there is only one who could chose to hurt others, the rest just make mistakes), but due to trauma we are currently dealing with he has next to no empathy. He wont listen to feelings any more. He wont step out of line hugely for the same reson that there is no getting him to change or getting rid of him.
If this entity has no empathy for you, wont budge, and is doing you harm I would say you should dissipate it outright, or integrate it. If this is not something your system can do by itself then I would definitely suggest seeking a therapist or another professional's input.
Zen
If this entity has no empathy for you, wont budge, and is doing you harm I would say you should dissipate it outright, or integrate it. If this is not something your system can do by itself then I would definitely suggest seeking a therapist or another professional's input.
Well the practical ways of proceeding with dissipation are to disbelieve him. Ignore communication and don't initiate communication with them again. Disregard anything that might be them as just an intrusive thought. That kind of thing.
If you want to give them the option of integration/permanent merging you could possibly do this before before bringing the above hammer down, or even just letting them know it's that or change.
Well the practical ways of proceeding with dissipation are to disbelieve him. Ignore communication and don't initiate communication with them again. Disregard anything that might be them as just an intrusive thought. That kind of thing. If you want to give them the option of integration/permanent merging you could possibly do this before before bringing the above hammer down, or even just letting them know it's that or change.
@Zen - jump
To remove or change me would take specific brain damage, non of us want that.
say hi to him. There is no way to change him, he will change back when I have delt with the issue, my worry is how do I help the out side world no be mad at me?
we tryed, we realy did. no one beleves us. normaly Soph. is realy nice and helpfull, just been... stressed and shut off a few days ago. Hes asked for help from some one so now hes doing a better job at comunicating what he needs (they are the same as what they were befor so thats not the issue) and hes doing it less... angry. I havent talked to his helper though, so I dont know whats going on internaly... may be a good idea to ask them
Zen
Also please understand that I am not addressing this entity, as doing so is exactly what is allowing them to grow in strength.
we cant ignore him. When we did that we ended up being even more unhappy, he is still doing his job. he just tends to be voilently blunt with peploe? to the point of being rude.
immortalbeggar
hmm give the task of communication to one identity only until its all normal ? or make an emergency protocol for your self... (edited)
we cant chose when Ls takes over, he dose so at free will, then allowing Soph. to take hold. Its a cycle, normally im the one in control as the others have better things to do.
Thanks! yeah, I am the host after all. it upsets me that hes like this? he normaly likes joining in on things like the meta chanel. but hes just... abrut and I dont know when or how to say sorry to the outer world with out sounding like a phyco
What you've described so far as is pathological if you are not in control of it. If I can be blunt. You require assistance if you cannot unravel these beliefs yourself.
12:29 AM
I also frankly think you should ignore what Beggar is saying, because they are encouraging you to indulge this.
me either? Madea is the closest to a Tupla but we dont have sympotms of DID. thats why no one will help us with the goddess. there part of my autisum is what mum said.
Zen
I also frankly think you should ignore what Beggar is saying, because they are encouraging you to indulge this.
So im not sure why you think people in a tulpa server can help you with something that isnt tulpas. we aren't doctors. What happens to you is pretty far off from what happens to us
Depending on where you are you may be able to phone a helpline for mental health assistance or something to that effect, but if you're in America that is well outside of my knowledge.
me either? Madea is the closest to a Tupla but we dont have sympotms of DID. thats why no one will help us with the goddess. there part of my autisum is what mum said.
@EchoTheDemon - jump
Where did your headmates come from if you didn't create them?
EchoTheDemon
its the only place that will take us. no where eles will validate them as anything close to what we need some times.
I mean, if they're causing that degree of issue the answer might be to not validate them as tulpas and instead work on them as root issues of intrusive thought and impulsivity. I don't know—but a professional presumably would.
I encourage everyone to consider that engaging in any way with their distress is just enabling the cycle they are in.
we've seen multiple times people going through this - a headmate being angry, host apologising, only to see the headmate be angry again - and engaging with it has always been problematic, with time it was making it worse.
It upsets me because it's yet another example of what I've been talking about tulpamancy guides - the guides neglect the mental health aspect of the person, make them form beliefs which then make it very hard for a person that has this problem to fix.
@EchoTheDemon#1425 you need to remember that you take responsibility for what is being typed on your keyboard. What you are going through is probably just anxiety that manifests itself in this way. Please find a professional help to help you with the anxiety
how do I make up for the others mistakes? they did something dumb while I was gone and I feel like I should be held responsible as I am the host.
I'm late to replying to this but I figured this could apply to other people.
I think a tulpa system is completely capable of becoming dysfunctional, especially if there is another mental health condition like anxiety, depression, etc. along with it. Sometimes some systems just seem to not be that good at working things out and other times bad mindsets can throw things off.
I think it's a good idea to ask for help from a professional. I understand that not everyone can disclose their plurality, but seeing a professional for the underlying mental health problems will help the tulpamancy problems or at least make them easier to deal with. Another trick one could try is to reword the problem as a communication problem. A lot of the time, I think it boils down to learning how to work with others. While working with another singlet isn't the same thing as working with a headmate, a lot of the same ideas apply. We found that with one of our "problematic" headmates, giving him something to be in charge of made him happier and he became easier to work with. We figured this out by learning about the different types of "love language". Like not knowing how to work with others, bad mindsets can also hurt the system.
===(edited)
Bad mindsets and set-ups can hurt the system, especially when switching is involved. If your headmates can switch in without consent, I think you should stop switching, focus on learning how to switch a different way, or set up a game plan on how to work together. Not all places recognize a tulpa as solely responsible for their actions, and regardless, any headmate that acts out from a system will hurt the reputation of the whole system. If absolutely necessary, it may be best for the original host or whoever the primary fronter is to take the front and prevent switching until everything gets sorted out.
In short, long term apologizing for your headmates is not a great idea. A fronter is responsible for representing their system, even for the sake of reputation. If a headmate can't act responsibly, then they shouldn't be allowed to front. If that somehow can't be arranged, that's where you will either need to work things out or see a medical professional and disclose your plurality. Failing to address disordered plurality- if even plurality at all- will only make things worse(edited)
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